It was through studying the Hebrew Roots of Christianity that I was led to a new group. This group, which called itself "Torah Observant followers of Yeshua," made the claim that because our Lord kept His Father's commandments, including those found in the Old Testament Law, then believers in him ought to do the same. This was true discipleship, and true faith. Most of these fringe groups were extremely arrogant and hostile towards Christians, simply because they did not keep all of the Torah commandments. Some groups even went so far as to require all of their followers to use only the Lord's Hebrew name (which no one can agree on, by the way).
I did not realize it at the time, but I had become involved in yet another cult. The people whom I befriended and listened to were extreme fundamentalists, some of whom believed in an impending apocalypse, which led them to flee the country. It is sad to note that the children of most of these families have left faith in God entirely as a result of being raised in such an environment of fear and legalism.
During my short time in this cult, I met a woman through an online group whose son was interested in converting to Judaism. Through our conversations, she kindly chastised me for listening to these radical leaders, who had a very limited knowledge of the Torah, being Gentiles without any education in Judaism. Then, she guided me to a few well-known Jewish learning sites, where I might begin learning about the Torah and the Jewish faith through the Jewish people themselves.
And so thus began my journey in Judaism. Although I never left my faith in Jesus as the Messiah, I no longer considered myself a Christian, or even part of Messianic Judaism. I was simply a believer in Jesus studying the Torah.
My husband, whom I had yet to meet at the time, was also beginning on the same path. He had recently quit his job as a leader in a megachurch, in order to pursue after the truth, which he also believed was found in Judaism.
And so it was that we met and married, brought together by our mutual interest in the Lord's commandments.
As we came to learn more about Judaism and all of its many laws, we quickly decided this was how we wanted to live and raise our family. Conversion was something we talked about on a regular basis. But we realized that converting to a faith that does not accept faith in Jesus as the Messiah would be a near impossible task.
Yet I loved keeping the commandments, especially celebrating the weekly Sabbath and the many Jewish holidays. We also had friends who, though Gentiles, had been fully observant of the Jewish law for many years. Through them, we found fellowship and support and their knowledge and experience served to help us move forward in our own observance.
But Judaism is a faith that is meant to be lived out in a community. My husband and I, unfortunately, were not a part of any community, nor was that an option for us as non-Jews. Hence, we began to experience severe burn out. Observing the Torah began to feel burdensome and isolating. We could not accept any dinner invitations nor eat out at restaurants, unless they were certified kosher, and in the summertime we couldn't go swimming due to the laws surrounding modest dress and conduct. In short, we were suffocating under the weight of the Law.
The stress this was causing us was too much, so together, my husband and I made the decision to take a break from religion. We didn't know how long this break would last, or where it would lead us, but all we knew was that it was necessary.
How I wish that I could have foreseen the mass chaos and pain that was to follow this decision, and the strain this would ultimately cause in our marriage. But I was blissfully unaware then, as this massive change in our lifestyle happened to coincide with one of the most joyful times in my life - the birth of our beloved son.
I did not realize it at the time, but I had become involved in yet another cult. The people whom I befriended and listened to were extreme fundamentalists, some of whom believed in an impending apocalypse, which led them to flee the country. It is sad to note that the children of most of these families have left faith in God entirely as a result of being raised in such an environment of fear and legalism.
During my short time in this cult, I met a woman through an online group whose son was interested in converting to Judaism. Through our conversations, she kindly chastised me for listening to these radical leaders, who had a very limited knowledge of the Torah, being Gentiles without any education in Judaism. Then, she guided me to a few well-known Jewish learning sites, where I might begin learning about the Torah and the Jewish faith through the Jewish people themselves.
And so thus began my journey in Judaism. Although I never left my faith in Jesus as the Messiah, I no longer considered myself a Christian, or even part of Messianic Judaism. I was simply a believer in Jesus studying the Torah.
My husband, whom I had yet to meet at the time, was also beginning on the same path. He had recently quit his job as a leader in a megachurch, in order to pursue after the truth, which he also believed was found in Judaism.
And so it was that we met and married, brought together by our mutual interest in the Lord's commandments.
As we came to learn more about Judaism and all of its many laws, we quickly decided this was how we wanted to live and raise our family. Conversion was something we talked about on a regular basis. But we realized that converting to a faith that does not accept faith in Jesus as the Messiah would be a near impossible task.
Yet I loved keeping the commandments, especially celebrating the weekly Sabbath and the many Jewish holidays. We also had friends who, though Gentiles, had been fully observant of the Jewish law for many years. Through them, we found fellowship and support and their knowledge and experience served to help us move forward in our own observance.
But Judaism is a faith that is meant to be lived out in a community. My husband and I, unfortunately, were not a part of any community, nor was that an option for us as non-Jews. Hence, we began to experience severe burn out. Observing the Torah began to feel burdensome and isolating. We could not accept any dinner invitations nor eat out at restaurants, unless they were certified kosher, and in the summertime we couldn't go swimming due to the laws surrounding modest dress and conduct. In short, we were suffocating under the weight of the Law.
The stress this was causing us was too much, so together, my husband and I made the decision to take a break from religion. We didn't know how long this break would last, or where it would lead us, but all we knew was that it was necessary.
How I wish that I could have foreseen the mass chaos and pain that was to follow this decision, and the strain this would ultimately cause in our marriage. But I was blissfully unaware then, as this massive change in our lifestyle happened to coincide with one of the most joyful times in my life - the birth of our beloved son.
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